Our Attitude towards life determines life’s attitude towards us.” Earl Nightingale
What is Attitude ?
Attitude may be defined as a set to action with an emotional overtone acquired over a period. Environment, Experience and Education are the factors determining our Attitude. Depending on the changes in the type of experiences one endures, the attitude undergoes modifications.
Let us compare a human being to a Computer. A computer gives a predetermined output when its hardware, software, and its system software behaves properly. Similarly, a human being displays a particular type of behavior based on his physical abilities, the competencies he has attained, and his acquired attitudes. The Attitude like the system software is not visible, but will lead to a particular behavior, which is seen by others and forms the basis for evaluating the person.
A right attitude can lead to a right behavior, visible to others projecting you as Positive Person . Now The foundation for success is positive attitude. Positive attitude attracts success, and success helps you to achieve your goals and objectives e. ,ie when we want to succeed in life, we have to acquire the right and positive attitude and do things differently.
So when we start realizing that we are unable to achieve results, even after taking actions, despite having the right capabilities, right resources, right competencies and right skills, it’s worth reviewing one’s attitude and doing things differently.
“ It’s your attitude, not your aptitude that will determine your altitude.”
Zig Ziglar has explained this very appropriately
Let us examine this story to dive deeper to understand a bit more on attitude .
A daughter once complained to her mother about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. As one problem got resolved, a new one arose. Probably each one of us can resonate with this.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each one on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In one she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
After twenty minutes she turned off the burners, fished the carrot, egg and coffee bean out and placed them in a bowl. Turning to the daughter, she asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, the daughter observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. She humbly asked. “What does this mean, Mom?”
She explained ….”After being subjected to boiling hot water, the carrot, egg and coffee beans were transformed differently., Each of them had faced the same adversity, that of being drowned in boiling water, but each one reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. But after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were however unique. After they were put in the boiling water, they changed the water, filling it with aroma and flavor. ” ,,, and the daughter got the answer.
Can we review in our life , how and what we feel, after going through some adversity like this of facing some setback like loss of job, divorce, financial loss, sickness, in our life?
Some become soft like carrot and give up . Some become hard ,like the egg , become very bitter and treat people and life with bitterness , and some become coffee beans , smiling , remaining positive, spreading warmth and charm, spreading knowledge .. Well that’s the attitude that I am talking about. We can question ourselves . Which of these are we? The carrot , egg or coffee beans ?
How our attitude impacts us, and why is it important to have positive attitude
Your ideas, words thoughts and actions are the only things over which you have control. You can overcome any hurdle in life if you manage your attitude and habit by having a control over your thoughts , words and actions.
The trials of life will not sway you. Every obstacle needs to be considered as the one you need to conquer. You’ll enjoy the fight since you know you’ll get significant knowledge and experience from it.
To achieve anything in life, you have to first believe you can do it. “Believe and achieve” as the saying goes. The way you think affects the way you behave. By believing in yourself you automatically increase the chances of your success.
The road to success is not easy, in fact, it’s challenging, that is why only few succeed. There will be countless times you will be facing defeat and failures and if you are weak, you’ll be succumbing to negative thoughts of fears and doubts. Your Passion to achieve and positivity will come to your rescue.
In order to overcome obstacles , you need to always maintain a positive mental attitude, regardless of the situation, develop persistence and eventually succeed in your endeavor. As negative thoughts and feelings will ruin your concentration and persistence, Keep your thoughts focused on taking action towards your goals.
Your attitude will determine how you will interpret each event of obstacle, defeat or failure. Everyone who pursues any goal will inevitably run into obstacles, or may even encounter failures. So you will have to learn from the mistakes , keep on persevering till you will win.
Your attitude defines and delimits your level of success. If you have a generally negative attitude, you’ll never really be successful. If you have a generally an upbeat attitude, you’ll always achieve some level of success.
When those with Positive attitude win, they get exhilarated and credit their win to others and celebrate the wins , where as, when those with Negative attitude win, they get exhausted and credit themselves about the win.
When those with Positive attitude lose , they learn from their mistakes persist till they win and credit their win to others, where as when those with Negative attitude lose , they blame others , complain , find excuses and give up , while passing on the blame to others/ circumstances/ events for their loss.
How can one try to change and become Positive
- Here are some fundamental steps that I have summarized as 5R s for acquiring a positive attitude, which will definitely give you Positive Results.
- Resolve ———–à Positive Results
- Repeat and Renew
Review: Review your thoughts and behavior and identify the problematic ones to correct.
Reframe: Reframe and think differently to rectify your attitude, create a different story for that
Resolve: Resolve strongly to think differently and act differently and make positive changes to imbibe a positive attitude
Repeat: Repeat the habit of thinking and acting positively at all instances
Renew: Renew and replace negativity with positive ones constantly as positive attitude is not a destination but a way of life.
Remember: Remember that we are responsible for our attitudes and resulting behaviors’, actions, results and Success
Results: Positive Affirmations can result in Positive Attitude, Results and Success
- Another method to change your attitude , as suggested by Puja Puneet, a leading Life coach is as follows. Look for evidence, stories, things that can change your belief system to empower you, by using this Formula
FACT – Identify a fact in your Limiting Beliefs (fact is always neutral)
STORY – Give the fact a new story Basically reframe the story
FEEL – Feel the feeling
ACTION – Take Action
How the same event can result in opposite outcomes for people with different attitude
Right attitudes, produce right actions. So make it a habit of saying the right words, being with right people, doing right things and so on. Repeat this habit of thinking and acting positively consciously at all instances. When not repeated, we may falter when it is needed the most. This is what makes us different, as well as a winner. Let us examine 2 well known stories
When David decided to kill Goliath the giant, all told him that the Giant was too big to be killed, whereas David said that the Giant was too big to be missed and the rest is history.
Two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report on the market potential. The first salesman reported, “There is no potential here – nobody wears shoes,” whereas the second salesman reported, “There is massive potential here – nobody wears shoes.” This simple short story provides one of the best examples of how a single situation may be viewed in two different ways – negatively or positively.
Same event , seen with different perspective, lead to a different response and different outcome based on your attitude and the way you reframe the same with a different empowering story
How can we imbibe positive attitude in us
The following gives few guidelines to imbibe positive attitude in us
- Imbibe new Habits
- Have positive Self talk .
- Follow and emulate those with Positive Vibes
- Watch inspiring Talks , Videos, Movies
Few habits which can be imbibed, to be a more positive person are stated herein.
- Weed out the negativity from your lives
- stay away from negative influences and toxic people
- Make a habit of doing now:
- Develop an attitude of gratitude:
- Develop your emotional intelligence
- Believe in your abilities, even when you fail
- Do look on the bright side—and get others to do the same
- Continuously set goals and work towards that
- Be a committed mentors and a Life long learner
Certain Positive self talk that you can indulge in to help you in reframing your story
- If you want to change something “Either I will find a way, or I will make one,
- “If you want to remain happy at all time I want to be happy, and nobody can stop me except GOD”
- If you don’t get support from others If it is to be … it is up to me”.
- If you are worried about making mistakes “I will choose faith, confidence, and trust that whatever happens, it will be alright”
- If you face obstacles “Shake it off and step up
If you want to motivate others, be positive, and reliable. A positive person sees the beautiful view whereas the other sees a dirty window. We should choose what we see, and what we think. Let us all find deep source of energy, creativity and passion that exists in each of us by learning to love what we do, even if at the moment we may not be doing exactly what we love. So, be positive and chose your attitude!!!
From my book “ Skyrocket to new heights” available on Amazon. Links are provided in the Bio